February 27, 2005
Take a stab at this!
Let me tell you something...
There I was enjoying my ride home on the 1/9 train after a long, LONG day of classes. The guy sitting next to me is reading "KNIFE" magazine. You'd think this would discourage me from reading over his shoulder, but it does not.
He flips the page and I see this:
I tapped the man on the shoulder and asked if I could get a picture of this ad because I felt the blog entry coming.
I'm trying to figure out if they are assuming that women feel proud when men look at their chest. Does this ad actually encourage this behaviour? I've been tempted to buy a knife to injur the people who stare at my chest.
It is just so unreal to me, how even the most basic of weaponry has to make you think of tits.
Ad Execs, this is disgusting.
Posted by lysa at 12:09 AM | Comments (3)
February 25, 2005
Sorry Dorothy,
We're not respecting your right to privacy any more.
I wish I had found this article in a publication more credible than Newsday, but I did not.
Turns out, Kansas just topped out my shit-list of states, putting AlafuckingBama into second.
Are the contents of what was, or is in our wombs not covered under any privacy act?
http://www.nynewsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/wire/sns-ap-abortion-investigation,0,4255768.story
Posted by lysa at 7:49 PM | Comments (1)
Doppleganged?
This is not me, yet she looks exactly like me. Who is this woman who poses for stock art?
Yet another mystery....
She does remind me that I need to get my eyebrows trimmed. Thank you, Stock Art girl.
Posted by lysa at 12:20 AM | Comments (2)
February 24, 2005
Give that Rookie a dildo!
Are they fucking kidding me????
Yesterday, the United States Supreme Fucking Court *refused* to even HEAR an appeal for that unbefuckmelievable law in Alafuckingbama making the sale of sex toys illegal. As if this wasn't enough, they added:
"The law, adopted in 1998, allowed the sale of ordinary vibrators and body massagers that are not designed or marketed primarily as sexual aids. It exempted sales of sexual devices "for a bona fide medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial or law enforcement purpose."
I'm sorry, I may need to paste that again. Did that just say that sex toys can be bought for "bona fide medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial or law enforcement purpose."??? Yes, yes it did.
You may use a vibrator, "any device designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs." for a law enforcement purpose.
Ladies and Gents, I encourage all of you to go and buy some handcuffs (fuzzy or not) and role play tonight.
Unbefuckingleivable.
Georgia and Texas ( i would, it's just to ofucking easy) are the only other states that have some sort of law on the sale of sex toys.
Next, we're going to have to defend that "Hysteria" is still a medical condition.
Posted by lysa at 12:15 PM | Comments (0)
For every zonino, there is an equal and opposite oninoz.
So, the goodness of the day came during the credit transfer process here at BMCC. Turns out, they accepted transfer credits for both World Lit I & II, neither of which I actually took at any other school. Greek and Roman Literature qualified as WLI, and 20th Century British Poetry counted as WLII. Go Homer.
The oninoz of the situation is Spanish. Si. Spanish. CUNY to CUNY will accept any grade above a D.
Grades below a C- will not be accepted if they were earned at any other educational institution.I have a C- in Spanish I, and a C in Spanish II. I'm going to have to do some talking to la departmentado de Espanol to see if there is anything I can do about this.
The Zonino of it all, is that I have 7 classes before I can get the first of my 3 degrees, and I estimate that with Summer I and Summer II sessions, I can be out of here by the end of the Fall Semester.
ZONINO!
Posted by lysa at 12:04 PM | Comments (1)
February 21, 2005
"Pieces of Sheet"
This weekend I went (with company) to the new art exibit in Central Park. The exibit attracted many, MANY tourists.
I have to say, I was woefully unimpressed.
Maybe if I was to be surrounded by sheets of orange, maybe if they would blow with the wind, maybe if it wasn't just piecs of fabic tied to poles.
Even the tourists thought it was lame, and these are the folks who take pictures of the guys dealing 3 card monty in times square.
Posted by lysa at 11:56 PM | Comments (1)
February 19, 2005
Zonino, Part Duex!
Today is Saturday, so I had my guitar lesson. At first there was 4 people in the class. Now, there are two. Turns out there was a pretty equal divide of skill so we got split up. Today, my classmate couldn't make it, so i got a private lesson.
There's a band called girlyman that has a ong called "The Shape I Found You In". It's a beautiful song, and it's in an alternate tuning so I can't really figure it out. Anyway, my private lesson today was fruitfull in delivering unto me the tablature!!!!!
My fingers will be killing me by the end of the week, but i'm going to learn that song.
Posted by lysa at 7:30 PM | Comments (1)
In line with SPER-M
From: arnetta russell
Reply-To: arnetta russell
To: Lou Lane
Subject: Nature's Sexual Secret Weapon of Pleasure
Date: Sat, 19 Feb 2005 10:56:41 -1100 (16:56 EST)
Powerful, very powerful
After I saw that story on Dateline NBC about your perfume I ordered some
and I am "extremely" satisfied. Women are now coming up and talking to ME! I
don't even have to use pick-up lines anymore. Thank you.- Robert Y. in
Tuscon, AZ.
CNN: Study finds proof that humans react to pheromones. The power of smell
is undeniable, as the multi- b i l l i o n dollar perfume industry
testifies.
Time to update spamasassin!!
Posted by lysa at 6:37 PM | Comments (2)
February 16, 2005
BMCC
So, a community college it may be, but you really can't deny the perks...BMCC is located about a bloc off the Hudson, and with my absolutely disgusting schedule, I get a few hours during the day where I can take a walk over and relax with what nature Manhattan has to offer.
I've gone back to school for education. I always said I wanted to work with kids, and then those damn computer people started paying me. Since they have stopped paying me, I've decided to go back, finally graduate, and get on with what I said I'd always do.
I'm enjoying school and doing well. I wish I had this kind of clarity the first time. Now I know how much of a game this is, I want good grades, and there are a series of things I have to do for them.
It's really not as dramatic as I used to think.
enjoy the view.
Posted by lysa at 11:00 PM | Comments (2)
Faith in the Marriage Institution, Finally.
The below IM conversation came from Ugh and his wife Dulcinobyn.
You have to know the two of them, and a large chunk of my past psychosis, but if you do, the conversation is really funny.
(21:25:49) ugh: hmmm
(21:26:20) ugh: hannah
(21:26:51) ugh: she said it, not me
(21:26:57) ugh: oh crap, i'mso sorry
(21:27:03) ugh: crap crap crap crap
(21:27:07) ugh: times two
(21:27:10) ugh: um...
(21:27:46) ugh: moira
(21:27:55) ugh: seamus
(21:28:00) ugh: i done said it
(21:28:04) ugh: sean
(21:28:16) ugh: jasmine
(21:28:22) ugh: ariel
(21:28:31) ugh: sebastian
(21:28:38) ugh: we're so not having any more than 2 kids
(21:28:42) ugh: 3 top
(21:29:01) ugh: i killed eldee
(21:29:15) ugh: first i want sewer, then i want that other palindrome name
(21:29:34) ugh: hmmm
(21:29:35) ugh: jenna :)
(21:29:59) ugh: we are not naming our future kids after republicans
(21:30:06) ugh: or plant life
(21:30:09) ugh: ooooh kay
(21:30:18) ugh: how about bubba, then? ")
(21:30:27) ugh: only if his middle name is "hotep"
(21:30:34) ugh: wait- he might agree to that one.
(21:30:38) ugh: strike that!
(21:30:48) ugh: sweet
(21:30:51) ugh: bubba hotep it is
(21:30:54) ugh: thank you very much
(21:31:02) ugh: bubba hotep heines
(21:31:08) ugh: cos it ain't a harplan
(21:31:10) ugh: heh
(21:31:13) ugh: and then he can have grand kids
(21:31:18) ugh: named bubba hotep harple the third
(21:31:27) ugh: 'cause that's a REAL man's name
(21:31:38) ugh: i have to go castrate my husband now to assure he doesn't reproduce
(21:31:42) ugh: the world will thank me
(21:31:50) ugh: hail to the king, baby
Posted by lysa at 9:19 PM | Comments (0)
February 14, 2005
CopyCat, I am, said Sam.
Favorite Im's
(13:06:58) 6fingers: lol, I like to think of myself as a horsie
(10:57:30) WChill: I'm not that queer
(11:01:43) SuperstarMine: November da booboo
(12:09:12) ShinyHairedGirl: my algebra princess =)
(11:39:47) AceUpSleeve: so i have...3 days as a single man left
(11:21:45) IhateChecks: i don't want to be a grown-up anymore
(11:15:45) MarriedwithKid: how's your butt after all that?
Posted by lysa at 6:07 PM | Comments (1)
February 12, 2005
A blog in 3 part dissonance
Part 1: Valentines Day Weekends
Over the years, there is still one lesson I have not yet learned: never go away for "special occasions". There is something that happens to couples in those scenarios. Maybe it's the pressure of having a weekend be more special than those standard issue ones. When you try to make something more special, I think you forget about the day-to-day common courtesy's needed to make that happen. I fell victim to this last mistake.
My advice to all those seeking it is to remember the please's and the thank you's, and don't forgot to keep the part of your personality that got you a Valentine to begin with.
Part II
Why isn't learning how to stop the FIRST thing they teach you when you take lesons? Bike Riding? Stop! Roller Blading? Stop! Snowboarding? Stop!
Teach me how to stop!!!!
And Part III,
to all the ladies,
If you're looking for your special friend to come a little early, throw yourself, spinning uncontrollably, down a mountain. It helped me.
Posted by lysa at 10:20 PM | Comments (1)
February 8, 2005
When is 30 inches not 30 inches?
When you're friggen buying pants!
WHat *IS* it with the fucking fashion people?? I get wide leg, flair leg,low waisted, bikini line viewing kinds of jeans.. but when you tell me the wasitline is 30 inches doesn't that have to live up to some, i don't know, STANDARD???
What friggen metric system do these people use?
Ugh.
Posted by lysa at 7:08 PM | Comments (1)
Subway Dimensia
Today, I managed to miss my stop on the train, twice. The first time I was too engrossed in my history book to realize to change trains, so my local train went all the way to end of the line. Panicked, I went to the front car an knocked on the conductors door. After explaining that I was a moron, he explained that this is a common mistake, and I should take my ass upstairs and walk to school.
The second, I was on an express, and forgot to switch to the local. Obviously today was math class.
I'll write more, as soon as I remember what I wanted to say.
Posted by lysa at 3:08 AM | Comments (1)
February 4, 2005
How many rooms are there?
Sitting in math class I heard the following:
When you have a negative sign outside of a grouping of numbers, you can get rid of the grouping of numbers by changing all the signs of those numbers to their opposites.
I wondered at this point, how useful this formula could be for my other mathmatical issues. For Instance:
To add another hour on the alarm clock, simple switch the 3rd number in the series with the first. or:
To sucesssfuly balance your checkbook, simply add in an extra 1,000 everytime your balance ends with a .30.
Why the fuck does math get to make rules to make itself make sense? Who made this shit up?
I admit, I am a mathmatical idiot. I'm back in school for the first time in 10 years, and it makes no more sense to me now, than it did, then.
It seem a little too convenient, like the way Spanish verbs just friggen change. "Conjegate the verb by changing the e to a ue."
Posted by lysa at 10:14 PM | Comments (2)
Zonino!
Welcome Folks,
It turns out I am not as creative as I thought. A while back I purchased a LG cell phone. One night something good happened to me ( obviously an event to inform friends about ) and I used the t9 input to say "woohoo".
If you ever used t9 input, you'd know that if it doesn't have a word you type in its dictionary, it'll supply you with options. It did not know "woohoo", so it suggested zonino.
Now, Iknow a big word or two, but I never heard of zonino! I looked up the possible definition and found none. Zonino, as a word, does not exist.
I google'd it, and found that I was not the first to try and type "woohoo" into a phone, these guys beat me to it.
I figure'd I might as well start using oninoz to define the opposite of zonino, which I started using as my alternate "wooHoo!".
Why can't we ever be ready to do the things when need to do at the times when when doing them would make the most sense?
Posted by lysa at 2:53 AM | Comments (2)