« They Jog Among Us | Main | Sexiest Characters on TV »
April 4, 2007
Victoria may have had a Secret, but I have a plan
I apologize in advance for sharing such things with you when you barely know me, but I recently had an idea I thought I should share. Girls, if any of you have a partner that has a desire to see you in lingerie, and you don't want to explain the hassle of lace and garters, follow these instructions:
1) tell your partner that you want to fullfill their fantasie, and to do so, they must be the ones to purchase aforementioned items. The lazy/cheap of the group will give up on the spot. They had no intentions of earning their supper, and they will acquiesce to the visions of you in your beloved flanel.
2) If your partner agrees to this deal, you may end up as lucky as I am. I approached my boyfriend with this about 2 months ago. If he wants to see me as The Nasty Nurse, or Linda Lycra, he was going to have to go through the heinous task of finding stuff for me.
Boys do not generally understand how friggen frustrating shopping can be. I spent a good 2 hours last night trying to find my best friend a dress. The choices were too hippy, too strppy, too long, to horizontal, too green, "are you kidding" and not horrible. For her, it's dresses, for me, it's the titsling.
I won't bother you with the details, but here's where the funny comes in. I watched my fellah pour through Her Room, Figleaves, FreshPair and here's the funny... Agent Provocateur.
I overheard such testimony as:
"What's the difference between blush, pink and champagne?"
"What's your size in Europe?"
"Wait, that's just for the garter!"
"Your size is all backordered"
"Why are all of these push-ups?"
"How much??? It's not staying on that long!"
"$90! For a thong!"
I sat on the adjacent couch with a little gleam in my eyes. I adore that he's going through all this because he wants to see me all lacy. I know many a man that wouldn't be caught dead looking at these sites with both hands on the keyboard, but my man did.
He finally ordered a good amount of stuff, which of course, will not arrive together, but in several packages over the course of the next 3 weeks - when I am sure to have my period.
Posted by lysa at April 4, 2007 9:05 AM
Comments
Pshhhh, i spent a goodly amount of money on those things and I intend to see you in them asap. I dont care if i have to become Moses and split the proverbial red sea I ...what? thats what? inappropriate? really? *cough* Nevermind!
Seriously though, what the hell! I buy the garter, the bra, the fucking garter BELT (its not the same damn thing as the garter?!?! Wheres the notches on this so called belt?) which comes out to a whopping 200 duckets, and then i find out that doesnt even come with a pair of *&#!# stockings! What a ripoff! Shame on you sexy lusty thank god for you Lingerie business. Shhhammmme.
Posted by: Booboo at April 4, 2007 12:47 PM
Do you know how many sexy pairs of sweatpants one could own for $90?! A LOT!!
Posted by: Kbee at April 4, 2007 3:35 PM
Dont kill me for this:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17936319/
Posted by: Kbee at April 4, 2007 3:55 PM
I bet you that I can buy many more pairs of sexy sweatpants than KBee with $90. Because, after all, she is seeing a [whisper]christian[whisper].
Posted by: scottie at April 4, 2007 7:18 PM
Lysa ... This killed me. I've been in -his- shoes before and can only offer one thing: a drink!
The things the women in our life do for us, part-time ungrateful men, is priceless.
I have to agree with kbee though. $90 can buy a lot of white tank tops with sexy sweat pants! :)
Posted by: van wie at April 5, 2007 8:34 AM
I LIVE! And I posted something! And your post amused me! 'Specially the "both hands on the keyboard" comment. And the bit about your period, because you know damn well it's true. :-) Would you believe I actually updated my blog?
Be well, dear!
Posted by: Reid at April 5, 2007 1:08 PM