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June 28, 2007
Lazy Summer Days
You remember those days when you were in school and it was blazing hot outside? The kids didn't want to learn, and the teacher didn't want to teach. On days like these, the teacher would often talk about something that had nothing to do with the assigned subject, but something a little more personal. Today, and much of this week, is one of those days in the blogspere. I have nothing to say, and nothing to teach, so today, you'll be introduced to Pablo Neruda.
It saddens me that I heard about Mr. Neruda from the movie In The Cut. In this movie, Meg Ryan plays a teacher. She's involved with this cop who is investigating the death of her sister. The cop comes into her apartment, glances at writings on the walls and sees this:
"I want to do to you what Spring does to the cherry trees"
In that moment, after the words hit my Wernicke's area I was in love.
Not to knock the movie script folk, but there was no way anyone but a poet wrote that. My quest was on. A few google links later, I was introduced to Mr. Neruda. The name of the poem is "everyday you play", and here it is en Englis y Español.
Everyday You Play by Pablo Neruda Every day you play with the light of the universe. You are like nobody since I love you. Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window. The birds go by, fleeing. You are here. Oh, you do not run away. Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle, How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me, My words rained over you, stroking you. | Juegas todos los días con la luz del universo. Sutil visitadora, llegas en la flor y en el agua. Eres más que esta blanca cabecita que aprieto como un racimo entre mis manos cada día. A nadie te pareces desde que yo te amo. De pronto el viento aúlla y golpea mi ventana cerrada. Pasan huyendo los pájaros. Tú estás aquí. Ah tú no huyes. Ahora, ahora también, pequeña, me traes madreselvas, Cuanto te habrá dolido acostumbrarte a mí, Mis palabras llovieron sobre ti acariciándote. Quiero hacer contigo |
Posted by lysa at 9:34 AM | Comments (4)
June 24, 2007
Seaview Avenue.
Picture this:
Two girls are sitting on a swing set located in a concrete, elementary school playground. The swing set's supporting poles are spray painted silver. The ground is covered by a thin black padding. There is at least one swing seat flipped over the high horizontal bar, dangling and useless. These swings are the flat, metal sort that politicians feared would be used to beat some poor child to death. In years to come, these swings would be replaced by the half-moon rubber kind. When these girls grow up, at least one of them will hate those rubber swings.
Th girls lament about their lives: they have curfews and older brothers. Their breasts are too big, and none at all. Boys are a nuisanance, but one of them has had a crush. Things are changing.
The girls are 12 and 9. The 12 years old is complaining that she is not yet a teen-ager, and she cannot wait. The 9 year old, exasperated exclaims "I'm not even in double digits, yet!"
The joke lives on though the years. The girls drift in and out of each other's lives, neither forgetting the other. They are family, bound by the experience of growing up on the same street, with the same kids, and surviving it all.
They've shared similar tragedies, similar enough to wonder if they were supposed to meet.
I'm the 12 year old, and my childhood best friend, we'll call her Janice, is now 7 months pregnant.
She's a wife, daughter, sister, and soon to be a mom. To me, she will always be, in some form, that skinny 9 year old girl who couldn't wait to hit double-digits.
Congrats, Janice.
* picture used from: http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/184364/2/istockphoto_184364_undisturbed_swings.jpg
Posted by lysa at 1:09 PM | Comments (2)
June 20, 2007
Sharing.
Tonight is my last session for therapy. I'm not "cured" or anything absurd like that, I was just skeptical going in and I remain as such. One thing was said that struck me as being quite astute - she mentioned that I like to keep personal things at a distance through technology. She's a little right about that. There are no pictures on the web that have my name associated with them, my full name can only be found in some really old newsgroup postings, and I tend to yell at people when they use my name in comments.
So, here's 20 things you may or may not know about me. I can too share with strangers!
1) For a brief time I sold sex-toys as a side job. I was nominated to do this by a woman who was hosting a bridal shower I attended. She was so impressed with my knowldge of the products, she suggested I start selling them.
2) I've attended 3 different colleges, one of them twice and just recently earned my bachelors degree in Sociology.
3) In the past 10 years I've moved 8 times.
4) In the past 10 years I've had 8 jobs - they've all been relatively close to each other.
5) My best friend and I have been friends for 16 years. She hated me when we first met.
6) Regardless of how much I weigh, I will always think there are 5 more pounds to go.
7) I've owned a cat for 10 years now. I owned a dog once, and probably will again.
8) I had a catfish named Lenny.
9) When I was younger, I would rescue all the goldfish that my father tried to feed to his Oscars. I bought a ten-gallon tank and kept the goldfish there.
10) I can do a cartwheel and a backwards walkover.
11) I'll always be smiling when I'm dancing
12) My favorite poet is Dorthy Parker and my favorite writer is Terry Pratchett.
13) I learned how to ride a bicycle when I was 8. It was a 10 speed and my feet couldn't reach the floor. I would stop the bike by crashing into nearby fences.
14) I can drive a stick shift if i have 20 minutes to get out of first
15) I still dance around my apartment and sing outloud when no one is home. From time to time, I'll even grab a hairbrush and pretend it's a microphone
16) I posed naked with 300 other naked people for a Spencer Tunic photo.
17) I sleep with a sword and a police club by my bed.
18) My friends still read me bed-time stories when I'm alone.
19) I love swingsets.
20) I will hop on a bus/train and travel 3-6 hours on the slightest whim. I can live out of a bookbag for a week.
Pssst. 20 days until my birthday.
Posted by lysa at 4:45 PM | Comments (1)
June 18, 2007
Cowardly Broadcasting
Hey, don't you think it's time for television to start airing some intelligent commercials? I do, too. Unfortunately, FOX and CBS both failed at helping to spread a very important message:
Use A Condom!
This NYTimes article details all the umm, details of the situation, and I'll leave it to you to go edumacate yourselves. Here's my point, FOX News refused to air this commercial?
FOX News, the sultan's of sensationalism found an ad about safe sex too scandelous to air.
According to Fox, they rejected the ad because "Contraceptive advertising must stress health-related uses rather than the prevention of pregnancy.”
Fox, who is currently running a "Special Report" entitiled "Brit Hume: Man Could Lose More Than His Pants" is in no position to be making moral judgements on why people should practice safe sex.
Shame on you, Fox News.
The fight is not completely lost, according to the aforementioned article,
"The commercial will run on ABC, NBC and nine cable networks, including MTV, Comedy Central and Adult Swim. Print ads will appear in 11 magazines and on seven Web sites. All will highlight a Web site, trojanevolve.com
Anyone think it's a coincidence that the google ad-words when searching for fox news was:
The Gospel
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ
and thou shalt be saved. Acts 16:31
www.thegiftofgod.co.uk
Sheesh.
P.S 22 days until my birthday :)
Posted by lysa at 11:19 AM | Comments (2)
June 13, 2007
The Sweet Spot - Rated NC-17.
Helloooooo ladies,
For any gentleman that may be reading this, please let me warn you, this is a very female post. I will be talking about "down there".
I would like to introduce you all to something I found whilst looking for bridal shower gifts. Introducing Sweet Spot Labs
I think it's awesome that there is a team of scientists, or like, regular people, sitting around thinking of ways to make our Va-Jay-Jay's more friendly for visitation.
It would be even better if they started working on the @%&(&*^ orgasm pill, but in the meantime...
This web site offers labia friendly lubrication, portable punani touch-ups, and fragrances for fuzz patch's everywhere.
I hold no stock in this company. I just think with all the goop we put on our faces to minimize wrinkles, soften skin and defy gravity, why not try pampering the pussy?
It's times like these that I sort of wish people at work didn't read my blog.
Oh well.
Posted by lysa at 5:13 PM | Comments (6)
June 11, 2007
29 days until my birthday!
I know, I know, it seems, excessive. Most women I know are not running around like mad with a countdown to their birthday. Most women I know put their age on pause sometime around 29, but not I, no sir, not me.
I love my birthday. The only thing I may love more than my birthday is Halloween, maybe. Let me share with you a few reasons why growing older is absolutely nothing to hide.
Things that have changed since my 20's
1) My friends are not gossiping about me. I have weeded out all those people who do nothing but cause me stress. They have been abandoned to a book of memories, where I may visit when I please. I have stored only the pleasant memories, I can do that since there is no one to remind or challenge me of any other unpleasantnesses that existed.
2) I'm in a healthy relationship with a genuinely nice/adorable/funny/intelligent/responsible/superhero guy. I'm over, WAY over, the invaders from planet heart-break who were clearly sent here to destroy me. Healthy is nice. One thing that has definitely helped this excellent relationship factor is...
3) I'm not fucking insane anymore. Everyone goes through it, and I don't doubt I have a lingering amount of crazy left - but I'm working on it. I'm somewhat confident, I mostly like what I see in the mirror, and I don't believe that being miserable is the only way to live my life. I have forsaken being prolific in poetry for the opportunity to write one or two things a year/month/season that express the good in my life. I don't freak out when I'm happy, and I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop (mostly). We're all a work in progress
4) My friends have been around for more than a decade, some close to 2. There is something wonderful about knowing that the people you love, love you back, and have been proving it by surviving you in your 20's and still speaking to you in your 30's. They have survived invaders from planet heart-break, spiral perms, manic new love, suicidal breakups, bad hair, weight gain, extreme weight loss, career changes and complete crisis of personality. I love these people.
5) I have pretty much solidified the "not-my-problem" list. Things have gotten significantly easier for me since the inception of this list. Sit down one day and figure out all the things you're dealing with that really aren't yours to deal with. It's nice.
6) I know that I can keep a cat and a plant alive for 10 years. This helps me to calm down at the prospect of having children.
That's it for now. I'm sure I'll have several more birthday updates. 29 days and counting!
Posted by lysa at 10:52 AM | Comments (3)
June 8, 2007
Top 5 Shows/Movies that have lied to you about love.*
* now with correct link...
You ever get this idea in your head about how things are "supposed to be" and then sadly realize you saw it in a movie? Every once in a while this happens to me, and today I thought I'd start placing the blame for these over-romantic, irrational, unreasonable thoughts in my head. In no particular order, here are the offenders.
1) Love Story
"Love means never having to say you're sorry" I've never ever seen this movie, but have heard its cliché spewed about in books and magazine articles. This quote is so widely known, it was voted number 13 in the Top 100 Movie Quotes of all Time. It's a good thing there were numerous reponses to this, personally, I agree with Lisa Simpson, who said "No, it doesn't!"
Seriously, who believes this? Love is not ESP, nor does it automatically produce empaths. If you're sorry, say it.
2) Sex and the City.
I'm going to get flack for this, but let me put it to you straight. That guy, the one you have been with on and off for years, who never offered anything substantial regardless of how much you asked... you know the guy? Good. Listen... he is not going to find you in Paris and rescue you away from the person you went there with. It's just not going to happen.
3) Pretty Woman
As wonderful as love can be, it will probably not be enough to make a multi-billionaire forget that you are a whore he picked up on Hollywood Boulevard.
I know this is more about sex than love, but doesn't one usually lead to the other?
Although Mickey Rourkey was certain smoking hot back in those days, was he really hot enough to withstand getting schtuped in a sewer? Nine 1/2 Weeks is guilty of showing you hot, steamy sex scenes that cause you to go home and try them, and be unbelievably dissapointed. It just doesn't work the same way at home, boys and girls.
This blog post has been hijacked by a higher calling. Forget my silly lists and continue on with something import. Go Save Veronica Mars
Go Now!
Posted by lysa at 9:10 AM | Comments (4)
June 4, 2007
Really Mr. Singh?
I hate it when blog ideas hit me before I'm about to pass out. This phenomenon requires that I purge out an outline that will be sufficient enough for me to remember what it was I found so interesting in the first place. In the event the below is in-cohesive, I have failed.
Here is what was so interesting:
http://www.ny1.com/ny1/content/index.jsp?stid=1&aid=70391
For the lazy, the article summarizes a well-known issue in our schools: discrimination. In this case it's of a religious nature. A Muslim Queens student was recently forced to cut his hair by another Muslim student.
What got my attention was the following quote, spoken by Amardeep Singh of the Sikh Coalition. :
"In Queens, of the people we surveyed, over 70 percent of the Sikh are teased or harassed based on their religion. That is not acceptable. That is not what New York is all about.”
Really, Mr. Singh?
I'm pretty sure that that's exactly what New York is about.
We speak a lot about tolerance in this city. Programs have been budgeted in public schools to increase the amount of tolerance people have for cultures different from their own. It doesn't work. We tolerate, but not accept, the cultures around us because we are forced to. We tolerate them because we're a picky people who profit off of diversity. Without all the different minorities in this city, where would we get that world famous New York cuisine from?
70% of a population being teased for their religious beliefs is unacceptable. I just think he's a little daft as to how abusive the New York school system, and New York, can be.
Mr. Singh was accompanied by Mr. Liu, whom I have heard speak at city council education hearings. He's a very passionate, well spoken member of the panel who tends to deal with issue most pertinent to the Asian community. I have absolutely no issue with this. Mr. Liu is an Asian-American man serving on our city council, and he should be representing the community he serves. It is understandable that he is at the front of the discussion about racial tensions within the Asian community.
What makes this city so susceptible to discrimination is that the minorities in this city shift from neighborhood to neighborhood. Every race and religion is a minority at some point in this city. I'm white, but in my Junior High School, High School and College I was most definitely a minority. Yes, I was picked on, and yes, a few times I was attacked because I was the minority. You may say, "Hey! This isn't racial discrimination, it's religious". Fine, let me round up some religious Jews I went to junior high, high school and college with and see if they were abused at all.
I'm sure they escaped unscathed.
Is it absolutely disgusting that students are discriminated against at all? Yes, of course it is. But please, let's stop pretending that it's only one group or another. It's every group.
If we're going to find a way to fight discrimination, let' s be real about how many different kinds there are and all the people it effects.
Posted by lysa at 11:11 PM | Comments (4)
What's that word, dammit
Anyone know that word for people who suffer personality changed based on the weather? This rain sucks, and it's like, totally bringing me down, man.
In other news, ( it's been a slow week, hang in there - something will tick me off soon, i promise ) I saw Knocked Up last night and thought it was hysterical. I thought I would try out a movie review. Since I don't want to ruin the movie for you, you'll have to click the link below to read it.
Spoilers Below...
Judd Apatow who has brought us Freaks and Geeks, The 40 year old Virgin and Undeclared now delivers us "Knocked Up". From the start, I think I should tell you that I usually dislike comedies. Dick and fart jokes don't make me laugh. I'm the bored looking female watching "The Office", trying desperately to find one redeeming quality in any of the characters and being disappointed week after week.
Shockingly, I was neither disappointed or bored during "Knocked Up". This movie is funny. It's a little dick and fart joke funny, but it's also witty. I dare you to go see this movie and not find one scene that you can really relate to, even if you have never had a one night stand, been pregnant or spent your life stoned.
The gist is as follows: beautiful, professional Allison meets bumbling, sweet, no goaled stoner Ben at a bar. They get drunk and she takes him home. After a misunderstanding about required condom use, Ben does the deed and Allison gets pregnant.
Paul Rudd stars as the husband of Allison's sister, Debbie, played by Leslie Mann. There are many ways to describe Debbie, but it almost doesn't matter what your initial depiction of her is, because the characters in this movie evolve. Paul Rudd (Pete), who I seriously crush on, was adorable. Pete befriends Ben, as they are both involved with the sisters. Their quick friendship rings sincere, perhaps due to their on screen chemistry developed in "The 40 year old Virgin". This camaraderie leads to some hysterical scenes as the boys bond together in Vegas as a result as being ditched by the sisters.
This movie also provides some nice insight into the battle of the sexes. At first, I thought it was a little guy-centric. The men see the women, at times, as completely logic-less, controlling and insane. They hold nothing back in their judgment of the females who are, at times in this movie, completely irrational, abusive and insane. Towards the end, something nice happens. The viewpoint blends. The men are not being shown as irresponsible, uncaring and detached, and the woman are not crazy and illogical. This progression of thought is natural. The moral compass in this movie isn't banging itself against your head. The changes in these characters are subtle and believable.
Go see this movie. You'll laugh.
Posted by lysa at 9:54 AM | Comments (4)