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July 31, 2007

Hang in there.....crazy is more popular than you think.

Posted by lysa at 11:08 PM | Comments (4)

July 30, 2007

Take that, Goliath!

As some of you may know, I have been fighting with Verizon Wireless for the past, oh i don't know, five months. I called to cancel my service, and through a clause in their contract, I was allowed to do so without paying an early termination fee.

They charged me anyway.

Since then, I have been calling and calling. I was ignored. Finally, all my patience exhausted, I stepped up the plate and threatened them with litigation.

I received my check earlier this week.

It just goes to show, if you're obnoxious enough to threaten a monopoly with a small claims law suit, they'll give you your money.

If you're interested in the letter I sent, read on.

Verizon Wireless
Attn: Customer Service
3601 Converse Dr
Wilmington, NC 28043

Monday, July 2, 2007

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to express my complete disgust with my Verizon Wireless experience. It would seem that you are very attentive to your customers while they are in your service, but cannot extend the slightest bit of professionalism once their account is canceled. I find this method of customer service both dishonorable and unethical.

I called Verizon on February 6th to cancel my service. Since I cancelled due to an increase in your SMS message rates, I was allowed out of my contract without an early termination fee. Regardless of this agreed upon fact, on March 22nd, Verizon Wireless charged my credit card $193.22; $175.00 for the cancellation fee, and the rest for taxes.

On March 1st I called customer service and was informed that “the system”, regardless of my confirming that I would not be charged, could not differentiate between customers who should and should not be charged. I find this extremely difficult to believe. I have never encountered a financial system without the ability to override a transaction. It is my belief that Verizon Wireless bills their customers in the hopes that they will either not notice, nor put in the effort to claim their money.

I have spoken with Verizon 16 times in order to find out where my refund is. The bevies of excuses I have received are bewildering. I have been told that it takes one billing cycle, only to be changed to three billing cycles on a later call. I have been told that my request has been submitted and approved three different times. I have records of speaking with nine different customer service representatives and not one of them could tell me when I would be getting my refund. Verizon Wireless has owed me a total of $204.48 since my February-March statement.

This is my last casual attempt at getting my refund. I will be calling my credit card company to challenge the charge, and then I will bring this issue to the attention of my small claims court. In addition, steps are in place to contact the Better Business Bureau.

I can think of no legitimate reason why a customer who has used your service for years should be treated with such neglect.

For your convenience, I have included the dates of my aforementioned phone calls below:

date	why	who
6-Feb	Called to cancel Verizon Service
24-Jun	Confirm Cancelled Line
25-Jun	Check on port status
1-Mar	Called to confirm cancellation
7-Mar	Called to confirm no charge	Meriah
22-Mar	Called about refund status	Erin
24-Mar	credit request sent out/received/approved
30-Mar	Called about refund status
12-Apr	Called about refund status	Gail
18-Apr	gail called to tell me pending
28-Apr	called with survey
2-May	called with survey
14-May	Called about refund status	Lucinda
15-May	resubmitted refund request	Margaret
12-Jun	Called about refund status	Ivan
21-Jun	Called about refund status	Allison/Shante Shantee re-submitted request
25-Jun	Shantee called to apologize for delay
30-Jun	Shantee left message
2-Jul	Called to confirm call log	Sean

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at 111.222.3333.

Sincerely,

I am so pissed off right now.

Posted by lysa at 12:18 PM | Comments (4)

July 19, 2007

Am I the only one who remembers the 80's?

Because this seems like a really bad idea to me.

Posted by lysa at 11:03 AM | Comments (3)

July 18, 2007

Reason # 450 why I mostly hang out with boys

I work in a building filled with fashion companies. For the most part, if you don't design fashion, then you work with the models in a photography studio. This usuallly means that I, with my trademark hair-pulled-back-with-a-barette stylish self, am crammed into the pre-war elevators with at least, 10 women who all look they're going to the event of the year.

I have heard the most interesting conversations, most I let go without so much as a care. After all, I know jack-squat about fashion. I probably don't match my shoes to my, umm, what are you supposed to match your shoes to, anyway?

Today, I could not let the world miss this little gem.

Girl 1: "What did she look like?"
Girl 2: "She had long brown hair and was Greek looking."
Girl 1: "Ewww"

That conversation between two men would have gone so completely different.
Here are a few examples.

Guy 1: She had long brown hair and was Greek looking.
Guy 2: Hot?

Guy 1: She had long brown hair and was Greek looking.
Guy 2: I'd hit that.

Guy 1: She had long brown hair and was Greek looking.
Guy 2: Big tits?

Guy 1: She had long brown hair and was Greek looking.
Guy 2: Did you nail her?

Ok, so I picked the lowest of the low for my examples, but seriously, would a man even respond to that with an "Ewww"?

Posted by lysa at 9:51 AM | Comments (4)

July 17, 2007

D'Oh!

I thought I'd take a trip to the lazy blogger lighter side of life. Enjoy these pics from the Simpsonizing of our local 7-11 store.

Posted by lysa at 2:33 PM | Comments (3)

July 16, 2007

Girl with a pearl earring

A few years ago, I decided it was time to retire the ankh earrings my best friend gave me for my sweet sixteen, and try something a little more adult. With this glorious news, I received not one, but three pairs of pearl earrings for Christmas. I request, my best friend delivers. I love birthdays. Anyhoo, I wore those earrings daily, switching between the black, pink and white pairs. Eventually, I lost the pink ones. I was saddened. So saddened in fact that when I was moving apartments, I put the earrings in a "safe place" so I wouldn't lose them again.

I moved nearly 2 years ago, and I still have no idea where the earrings are. Fear not, my loyal reader, my best friend stepped up to the plate yet again, and bought me another set.

This time, I wouldn't let her down.

Fast forward to this weekend. I am playing follow the leader with a 7 year old. Shes having gobs of fun watching me twist, turn, dive, jive, swing and jump. I grab said seven year old, pull her down on the couch with me, and collapse. I go to fix my earrings and find one missing (find one missing, is that right?).

Me, my hostess, her husband, the seven year old and the seven year olds mother get down on all four's and looked for the earring for an hour. It's no where to be seen. In a moment that I can only describe as hysterical hallucination, both the hostess and myself see the earring fall from a blanket onto the floor. Convinced it was there, we spent another hour looking. Finally, after realizing there was no way we were finding the earring, I began to accept that I would have to confess to, again, losing a precious gift.

I got on the train home from Albany, got home, showered, ate, relaxed. I went to my collection of earrings with no partners, and found another white pearl earring. They didn't match, but it was OK.

This morning I get out of the shower and notice that next to the tub is....
you guessed it, the missing earring.

My best assumption is that somehow, I had a pearl-post earring stuck to me all night up in Albany, that stayed on me through a 2.5 hour bus ride home, a transfer to the subway, and the 10 minute walk to my apartment.

Either that, or my body is just so used to losing jewelry, it started manufacturing its own.

Posted by lysa at 9:04 AM | Comments (3)

July 5, 2007

Was there a fiercly independent Smurf?

I would like to extend you all a warm welcome to my neurosis. Have a seat, anywhere is fine, everyone can see the show from exactly where they are.

You ever find yourself just chugging along, getting a job done, being a perfectly reasonable, logical person, and then, as if a blink transported you to crazy land you're off being insane? No? Fine, just me, then.

I got an IM from a friend I went to Junior High School with. We keep in touch when we see each other online, and she's often in my thoughts. I haven't seen her in many years, and she asked if I was going to a mutual friend's baby shower.

She's married, of course, and expecting her first child. It was here that I think I blinked into Crazytown.

I think it's impossible to be over 30, with some fairly impressive long term relationship cred. under your belt and not experience the moments I am experiencing. If so, can someone tell me how?

It's a mix of doubt and some very strong feelings of helplessness. I've had career since my early 20's and yet there is some Darwin-like drive present that tells me I'm not yet successful. Of course not. For Darwin, to be successful means breeding. Great shelter? Check. Working body parts? I think so. A partner with suitable mating DNA? Check. "What's the problem?" asks Darwin.

The problem is I am grumpy smurf.

When I was young, my mom and I went to Lechters. There was something she needed on the top shelf, and I went to get it. "MyName!", she exclaimed, "don't do that! That's for a man to do." It was about then that I developed my tell-tale glare, climbed up the shelves and got it myself. "Meh", I said. I am grumpy smurf.

Here is the problem folks, I need to trust someone. It's not that the person I have in mind to mate with isn't trustworthy. On the contrary he's about the greatest person I have ever been involved with. He knows me, and while there are aspects of my personality I'm sure he can do without, he's aware of them, and loves me all the same. What more can I ask for?

This is the man who dubbed me his "loud, foul-mouthed, trash-talking, in-your-face, delicate flower"
That's me in a nutshell. And he loves it, mostly.

My conundrum is that I have to believe him. In order for us to get to the next level, I have to assume his intentions are pure. I have to trust him.

I was the girl cheering along with Simon and Garfunkel when they sang "I am a rock, I am an Islaaaaaand" It was me in the back row of a Def Leopard concert screaming "Love Bites!" If there's a lyric in a song expressing fierce independence, you can count on me singing it, while climbing up some structure trying to lift something too heavy, because "Hey! I don't need any stinking help!"

And yet, I do.

I can think of no other situation I've experienced in which I have to wait for something. I cannot simply take this, I cannot work hard for it. I have to surrender control, and trust.

I am insecure Smurf.

Posted by lysa at 2:52 PM | Comments (4)

July 4, 2007

Happy 4th of July

I guess I am one of those snobs who believes there really isn't a better place to live than NYC. Sure, it's summer and the streets are an aromatic masterpiece with such elements like piss and garbage, but really, it's beautiful.

I'm fortunate enough to be able to grab pictures of the fireworks from my roof.
These were snapped with a Panasonic DMC-Z27, from downtown NYC.

Pictures!

Videos can be found here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_IDQWbpCQo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_bzCcR8MfQ
Enjoy!

Posted by lysa at 11:52 PM | Comments (3)

July 2, 2007

best of the 80's

So, there I was, watching yet another 80's countdown on VH1, and my fellah says to me "is *THAT* what Little Red Corvette is about?"

After the hysterics died down, I realized that Prince had made one of my many Top 5 lists. Here is is folks, Top 5 euphimism songs:
*
1) She-Bop, Cyndi Lauper
Leave it up to the hippy wild child of the 80's to write a song about female masterbation. At 14, I had no idea that's what this song was about, but now, after countless Pop-Up Video's and Interviews with the Laup, we're all really clear on the meaning. How did we miss it with lyrics like these?

"Do I wanna go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop - or I'll go blind
Oop - she bop - she bop"

2) Little Red Corvette - Prince
Again, we must have been hypnotised by George Michael's ass to not realize how very about sex this song is. If further proof is needed, just take a look at this euphamism right here, baby:

"Move over baby (move over baby)
Gimme the keys (gimme the keys)
Im gonna try 2 tame your little red love machine
(Im gonna try 2 tame your little red love machine)"

3) Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
I've never been a huge beatles fan, so I caught on to this one pretty late in life. You have to admire the band for being able to sing so blatently about drugs and getting it past every.single.censor.
Snippet:

"Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain
Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies,
Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers,
That grow so incredibly high."

4) Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol
I realized during the making of this list that I am pretty clueless. This song invokes images of bad 80's dancing - we're talking high kicks and hands waving wildly. Come to think of it, I guess that really does fit in with the whole masterbation image. Guilty lyrics:

"When there's no-one else in sight
In the crowded lonely night
Well I wait so long
For my love vibration
And I'm dancing with myself"

5) Pink -Aerosmith
I'm so used to Steve Tyler making up words like sasafrass in order to sneak "ass" pass the censors that I didn't even consider this next song - then I read the lyrics.
"Pink it´s my new obsession
Pink it´s not even a question
Pink on the lips of your lover, ´cause
Pink is the love you discover "

Sure, he's talking about the color.

Runner's Up:
Relax - Frankie goes to Hollywood
Light my Fire - the Doors
Brown Sugar - Rolling Stones

You have any?

* borrowed from:
http://whatever21.up.269g.net/image/cyndi_lauper.jpeg

Posted by lysa at 10:09 AM | Comments (4)

July 1, 2007

Peter, Paul and JetBlue

I'm leaving on a jet plane, indeed, but in order to get there, I had to travel via every public transportation system available.

Me and the boy went to see his brother and his (holy shit my biological clock is doing the mambo) little kids. He has a set of twins, one boy and one girl plus, a 3 years old boy. The girl, I learned, loves me because she liked my hair. The fact that I threw her around in a pool for an hour no longer meant anything. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Anyway, back to the transit stories.

I had to go to (mother fucking) New Jersey in the morning for some work. I hopped on a PATH train. After Jersey I took a water ferry and a bus, which landed me at Penn Station for my train to Jamaica Station, where I caught the Air Tram which brought me to our plane. In Florida we were picked up by his brother, in his car.

For all of you that got to sit on your booty this weekend, don't feel guilty. I did enough running around for you.

* pssssst - 9 more days until my birthday!

Posted by lysa at 7:30 PM | Comments (1)