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October 3, 2007
Yo! I wanna get wit you.
I left work early today. The reasoning for this will be detailed shortly, but I needed an opening sentence, and that seemed good enough.
I was walking to the train with what could only be described as my complete "don't fuck with me" ensemble. I had on my sunglasses, headphones which clearly led to an iPod tucked into my front pocket.
I see this guy walking towards me, and he motions to me that he wants to ask me a question. I slow down, maintain my distance, take my headphones out and listen to him tell me:
"Hey baby, I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate your look and I want to be your man."
Now, forgive the pause in the dialogue, but this story just isn't complete without some more detail. Last night, I was at work until 3:30am. I had to be back at the office at 9am. I got 4 hours of sleep last night. This morning I threw my hair in a ponytail, slipped on some pink chucks, a pair of worn jeans and the plainest black shirt I own. By 3:30pm when I left work, nothing on me was glamorous. My ponytail looked like an imprisoned lion's mane with whips of hair escaping at every possible turn. I could have secured my iPod in either of the bags under my eyes, and I assure you, Sherlock Holmes couldn't find makeup on my visage with Watson, Spade and Mason assisting. In short, I looked like hell.
After running his opening line through my internal filter, I successfully translated "like your look into "nice tits", realized he added on a request to be my man and I managed to reply with "Sorry, that position is filled."
He tells me that he really wants to "get wit me" and I assure him that I have a very nice, kind, wonderful boyfriend whom I have no intention of trading in. I thank him for his compliment, tell him to have a good day, and go on my merry way.
I wonder, does this work? Has this approach ever succeeded? Sure, it's a lot better than "You got any fries with that shake?" or "I appreciate that walk" yet ranks way below the more acceptable "Good Morning".
I wish I wasn't exhausted, crabby, impatient and stunned because this could have been a fascinating sociological experiment.
Posted by lysa at October 3, 2007 5:56 PM
Comments
Lots of guys prefer the pink chucks and pony tail look to the glamorous glitz. Thank goddess.
Posted by: Kbee at October 3, 2007 8:15 PM
Hehe I'm sure you were hot...but did you, somehow in your lack of sleep, magically transport back to 1975 with that line? I mean, was he wearing a white or powder blue leisure suit? What a Fuckwit
Posted by: Scottie at October 3, 2007 8:30 PM
I second the pink chucks, black shirt and ponytail. Its one of my favorite looks!(that and naughty school girl). Her lion's mane...not so much.
I believe its a matter of supply/demand and evolution. If a line like that didn't work, over time the supply of these lines would dry up. Since they're still pumping it out, there probably some women who still do respond to it.
To quote Dumb and Dumber:
Lloyd: What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance!
Posted by: booboo at October 4, 2007 11:41 AM
There's someone who will fall for any line...
Posted by: Robyn at October 4, 2007 3:41 PM
Robyn: and you fell for which of the following (sorry doug)...
- "You've stolen the ASCII to my heart."
- "Mind if I finger you?"
- "Your mouth says, 'Shields up!', but your eyes say, 'A hull breach is imminent.'"
- "You wanna go back to my mom's place and watch 'Star Trek'?"
- "What's a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this?"
- Jedi Mind Trick: "This is the geek you're looking for." *waves hand*
- "Want to see my Red Hat?"
- "wanna fsck?"
Posted by: Scottie at October 4, 2007 6:58 PM
Well, except for the Star Trek one, you're right ;)
Posted by: Robyn at October 4, 2007 10:46 PM
You would think that people wouldn't fall for bullshit like "I wanna git wit you", and yet people still fall for 419s.
Scottie - would "wanna fsck.ext3?" be the geek way of asking for a blogged quickie? :)
Posted by: PurgedHalo ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://blog.oninoz.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at October 5, 2007 1:14 PM
oooh! ooh! i wanna play! i wanna play!
How about:
"You've p0wned my heart"
"Error 404 - Pants not found"
"Ive got a secret message for you: 66 75 63 6b 20 6d 65 20 6c 69 6b 65 20 61 20 77 69 6c 64 20 67 6f 72 69 6c 6c 61"
"Whenever i think about you, i wanna keystroke myself"
"Wii you make Mii the happiest Mii in the virtualworld and go out with Mii?"
Posted by: booboo at October 5, 2007 4:08 PM
booboo: and that completely melted her heart, didn't it? ('scuse me whilst i vomit)
Posted by: Scottie at October 7, 2007 10:53 AM
Jeez! This PC talk is so much hard work. Doesn't anyone just get their dates drunk anymore?
Posted by: Reid at October 9, 2007 9:16 PM