Be gentle, but honest.

As always, my booboo ( who is now my husband *gasp* ) took video, cheered, walloped and yee-haw'd.

P.S. If you gave us knives for our wedding, could you let us know? Thank you!

I lost my job
I got a new job
My best friend is engaged
My bridal shower
A dear friend was diagnosed with breast cancer
A honeymoon to Greece
A trip to California
A baby got very big
I turned 34
I performed in public, with a band, for the first time
and..
A wedding.

There, now you're all caught up.

We went to see Alicia Keys last night at Madison Square Garden. Her opening act was Jordan Sparks, who I didn't vote for, and Ne-Yo, who put on a really good performance. He was far more impressive than Ms. Sparks, and I think he just earned himself a new fan. Ne-Yo was joined by Rihanna for one of their songs which sent the crowd into a frenzy - but first, I think we should talk about Alicia Keys' jeans.

I want to know who makes her jeans. I want a pair. Maybe, and this is a big maybe, they can make my ass look as good as hers. I also want to be back-lit at all times. I want to walk around as a silhouette in Alicia Keys' jeans. I think that and a team of dancers surrounding me would help my self-esteem significantly.

Speaking of self-esteem...

I would like to address this portion of the blog to Jordan Sparks. Ms. Sparks, it is a disgrace to the musicians who have graced the stage at MSG when you ask your audience to GIVE YOU A STANDING OVATION!

Ms. Sparks was on stage, and asked people to stand up for her. She even threatened to not play her song unless the audience complied with her demands. The arena was at best, hallf-full and only the AI worshipers were paying attention. She performed like a girl who was picked from a crowd to perform on stage at her idol's concert, as opposed to a performer. Ms. Sparks, we are not there to entertain you and fulfill your desires - we are there to hear you perform.

After the Sweet 16 karaoke performance of Ms. Sparks, Ne-Yo came on stage. Not being a very big fan of any new music, I found myself surprised. It could have been the tuxedo he was wearing, because really, who doesn't like a man in a tux? - but I think it was the homage to Marvin Gaye that let me know he might be serious about his music. The songs were soulful and his performance energetic. The crowd definitely enjoyed him, and when Rihanna joined him onstage the crowd, without prompting, all got on their feet. That's how it should work, Jordan.

Alicia came out soon after without a lot of concert foreplay, and had a consistently good vocal and energy levels throughout the show. She seemed happy to be where she was: letting the crowd belt out the more popular songs and telling stories as segues from song to song.

It was an enjoyable evening, despite that fact that I turned into a bawling lunatic after a discussion about tuxedos with my fiance. My next post will be about PMS and its affect on normally logical women.

This time I just read my book and shut up. What do ya'll make of this?

So I'm getting on the train this morning, and notice a woman in a really pretty sundress. It was one of the ones I used to wear as a kid, with a crinkly, elastic panel in the back. I wondered where her bra was, because in my world, you just can't go out without support without getting arrested. Low and behold, she wasn't wearing one. Cheers, Hooray, Yeah for her and her cute little sundress.

The train tumbles into the station and it's mostly empty. We're only the second stop on the line, and things don't get busy for a few more stops. I look over at sundress woman and her boob is in plain site. Nipple and all were on full display. The front of the dress was shaped like a loose fitted V, and when she sat down, the top part lost it tautness and slouched, henceforth displaying boobage.

Now, I know that if that were my boob, I would want someone to tell me right quick. I'd want to know, without hint or analogy that my girls were available for viewing. So, I mulled this decision over for a few and walked over to her and told her. I imagine it went something like this:

"I-don't-wanna-seem-creepy-but-i-would-want-to-know-that-your-breast-is-
readily-exposed-to-the-other-side-of-the-train".

She of course replied "hrmm?"

I slowed down and repeated myself, expecting a hug or a widening of the eyes, or *something*, and I think she just mumbled. I went back to my seat, put my sunglasses on, and engaged in the the worlds most interesting game of Solitaire. So interesting, in fact, that I missed my stop.

In other wonderful news, someone e-mailed me to tell me that they stumbled across doyouknowpetecho.com and KNEW THE CHO! That blog might be coming back to life - Woot!

Immediately I told my mother I wanted a BBQ in my brothers back yard, and that both men and women would be attending. She was displeased.

As the time gets closer, and my best friend has gotten involved in the shower planning process, I am a little more comfortable with the idea. I've found a restaurant I like that has a lot of open spaces, so we're not all crushed together. I also bought.... a floral dress that I am looking forward to wearing.

I've changed my mind about having the boys attend, and am actually looking forward to a day with the girls. In short, I'm getting concerned with how this wedding is changing me into... a girl.

Should i start understanding the difference between blush and pink, or mauve and wine, please deposit me by the nearest batting cages, remove me of my floral dress and put me in some dirty jeans.

Thank you.

Here's the Legend:

The green dots represent the path I take to the train - by foot.
Te red dot represents a huge parking garage that I have to walk through
The blue dots represent many angry morning drivers who have just sat in traffic in the Battery Tunnel.

Washington Street is this teeny, tiny passageway around the parking garage. I don't even know how cars know this street exists. It's so small that it has no traffic controls: no police presence, no traffic light, and no stop sign. It's been a delicate understanding between the masses of people crossing this street into the parking garage and the cars both leaving the parking garage and driving down Washington street.

This morning as I crossed the entrance to the Battery Tunnel ( which is an expansive 7 lane exit ) there was a police officer on the other side waving a bright orange flag. The flags intent was to steer the crowd of pedestrians onto the new walkway. This walkway even extends across Washington Street - which now has a crosswalk painted onto it. There's still no stop sign, but there is a bright new crosswalk - now the cars speeding down Washington Street know where the pedestrians are going to be, and can aim accordingly.

Some folks were not so easily corralled and continued walking in the street, taking care to avoid potential accidents. Me? I'd like to live to take a sip of my morning chai.

Make a note.

I bring up feminine wiles because I realized yesterday that mine might be a little skewed. My guitar school shares a space with a guitar repair company. I brought my guitar in for a set-up ( a tune-up for guitars ) on Monday. The man in charge of fixing the guitars is quite tall, and he speaks with an accent that I could probably identify if I wasn't so mesmerized by it. Anyhoo..... I explained that I loved my guitar dearly, and asked that he be very careful. He said he would.

I got an e-mail yesterday from the tall, accented man letting me know he fixed some of my frets (insert a lot of technical guitar talk here) and when he got to the part about costs, said this:

"I usually charge much more for the saddle, but I said that I could make the original work and you scare me I'm only charging for the part!)."

Hrmm. I didn't yell, I didn't threaten, I have no control over his network, and I wasn't wielding any swords. As far as I know, no one had bought me the stun-gun that I've been asking for, so, what was so scary about me? Is this my evolutionary talent?

Today I'm wearing a black sundress and a preppy white sweater - I think i'm looking very girly. I pickup my guitar tonight, maybe I can get to the bottom of this.

To all reading this who know me... Is scary my wile?

This entry is likely to be followed by "The Measuring Tape". I just want you to know that I purchased a digital scale. Thus far I am displeased with the discrepancy between the "Old Number" and the "New Number". This rude increment must be defeated.

I'll write more after I kill the scale.

-me.

P.S This morning my fellah asked me if I was drumming in my dreams last night. I had to confess that I dreamt that I was a drummer on American Idol, playing the bongos for Jason Castro. Apparently, I "played" the bed last night.

*sigh*

We saw U23D last night, and even if you're not a mega-fan I suggest you go out and see it. It was full on 3-D which was a little annoying at first, but after my eyes got used to the glasses and Bono being waaaaaay too close to me, it's was quite a concert like experience.

I grew up around live music, and concerts always send me back to my days as a warrior youth. For those that remember my Bjork entry, you'll recall that I walked out of there ready to join the Peace Corps. I was fired up, energetic and full on ready to change the world.

Bono did very much the same thing. U23D features coverage from the band's Buenos Aires Vertigo tour. Even though the song Vertigo makes me break out in hives, I enjoyed the concert. They played a nice selection of their music including "Vertigo" "New Year's Day" "Beautiful Day" "Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own" "Love and Peace" "Sunday Bloody Sunday" "Bullet the Blue Sky" "Miss Sarajevo" "Where the Streets Have No Name" "One" "The Fly" "With or Without You" and, "Pride (In the Name of Love)".

During "Pride" I got sentimental and hopeful. They showed the crowd, thousands of people crowded into one area, yet no riots took place. Thousands of people jumping up and down, in perfect synchronicity shouting about love and peace. Is it possible to scream these words and not understand the message behind them? Will any of these people who watched the background video of Martin Luther King speaking do anything to make this world better? Will I?

During this performance my thoughts were disrupted by earlier news stories: A girl getting beaten by 8 classmates over a MySpace page, a 7 year old being raped while her attacker videotapes - horrible, horrible images of violence and violations. How can these different thoughts occupy the same mind? It's a pollution of my peace, and i'm pissed off in a quiet rage today, wanting desperately to do something *good* and not really knowing how.

This entry was going to be about the guy who was walking around Bed, Bath & Beyond in his pajamas last weekend, but that story just got trumped courtesy of the Asshat(©BeeLog) I ran into downstairs, buying breakfast.

This man, wearing a purple polo shirt walks up to the counter and orders "Two whole wheats with bacon, egg and cheese". Even I was confused. Now, the guys behind the counter speak breakfast English pretty well. I've never had a problem ordering - they may not always give me or my co-workers what we want, but I don't think that's a language issue - just your general lack of complacency.

Back to the Asshat.

"I said two whole wheats, with bacon, egg and cheese."

The guys behind the counter were understandably confused. Did he wants two sandwiches? One sandwich with 4 pieces of bread? They asked him to clarify, and Mr. Asshat is getting pissed off. He repeats his "whole wheats" order, and then, to my complete awe says "English! It's a great language - you should learn it!"

My head done near spun around, I tells ya.

Now, I aint always up on my book learnin', but I'm pretty sure that anyone who orders "two whole wheats" should not be lecturing anyone about their mis-use of the English language.

I was feeling the need to walk over and whistapoop this gentleman, but I decided violence in the workplace was probably not the best idea.

So, I'm back at the gym. I didn't want to write about it, because letting everyone know that I'm going inevitably means letting everyone know I've stopped. This time around I have some different goals, and I think my new outlook will help me achieve them. One of these goals is to improve my heart. I am getting to that age where you start thinking of having a family, and if a parasite is going to be sucking the life out of me for 9 months, I'd better have enough strength for the both of us.

The other reason, as superficial as it may seem compared to the first is I want to have a better body. It's a simple motivation, but it's strong. I have to confess that as I'm getting older, I'm getting scared about my attractiveness. It's vain as can be, and while I'm not looking for suitors, I have realized that what used to be a somewhat steady stream of compliments and flirtations have plummeted. Mind you, I spend most of my day wrapped up in a sweater that comes down to my knees. It is a distinct possibility that people need to see a body shape before determining hotness of said body, but we'll see how that goes.

During my workout today, pumped full of endorphins, I took a look in the mirror, sucked in my cookie jar and saw for the briefest of moments what I used to look like and what I am hoping to get to again. I won't get into details, but it was pretty nice. It's only been two weeks of exercise, but it's been an intense two weeks. I know these changes aren't real, they can't be yet - but there is hope on the horizon.

I hope to be fitter, thinner and healthier in my 30's than I ever managed in my 20's. Let's hope I keep this up!

Do these people have cats? Last I thought about this subject, you only needed one sense to know your cat made a stinky, and it's smell. In fact, I would like to meet the cat who poops so discretely that you need the litter to change color to alert you to it.

In my house we have a Febreeze filter right next to the litter box which limits the foulness to something tolerable. Mind you, I have a suspicion that my cat eats nothing but franks and beans the moment we leave the house.

The last thing I need is a Technicolor litter box, in fact, I'd prefer if if none of my senses had to be alerted to my cat's excremental tendencies.